Speed Demos Archive

All demos download for this update is available here

It seems like Evan mistook my comparison of his update to a bout of self gratification as some sort of insult. Nothing could be further from the truth! Salami slapping and Quake are the two things I most often choose to do when I have 10 minutes to myself, so the comparison was meant to be a complement. Two things in life I take for granted: 1) I'll never get tired of Quake and 2) I'll never get tired of stretching the ol' love bone.

Now, we haven't started an update with a Justin Fleck demo since... the last update. So let's do it again. After taking both run records on zer1m5 last week he has now taken TO of the level by improving both 100%s.

He improved Ilkka's Easy 100% by a huge twenty-three seconds to 3:17 by simply never stopping and not taking any crap from any monster. Not that easy, as you'd imagine, but when Fleck flecks something, it stays flecked!
The Nightmare 100% is much the same but with a few more monsters which means even less crap taking as he ran through in 3:27, twenty-eight seconds faster than Ilkka.

Connor Fitzgerald could have lived with Evan snagging his czg04 Easy Run record (see last update) but the aussie wasn't going to stand for being called a yank so he recaptured his record by improving it by one more second to 0:40. Very, very good but still not optimum so hopefully we haven't seen the end of this little duel. There's even been talk of an insane trick to get to the ogre secret at the start even quicker but it sounds so damned hard I doubt even these two masters could include it in a run. :-)

Making his return after being missing in action for several months is Chinese destroyer Weixing Ye who has pulverised both Basil's 100% records on pagan3. He grabbed the nailgun for some multi-INK mayhem which saved him three seconds on both Easy and Nightmare reducing the exit the time to 0:28.

It's de Mestre time once again as Luc and Pif run wild on a couple of my favourite levels.

Not many shortcuts on m_palace but sharing the killing and collecting saves plenty of time...
- Split up, get a key each, meet up, exit. Done one second faster than Ilkka and Jesse at 0:46.
- A similar set of routes except also blasting everything out of the way as you go gives a tidy looking 0:54, also one second faster than Ilkka and Jesse.
- My favourite run from this set is the Nightmare Run in 0:59. With two nightmare shamblers waiting in the last room you'd better hope your coop partner distracts at least one of them or you're toast. Luc, however, seems perfectly happy to just watch his little bro take double lightning strikes to the back until he crosses the exit trigger as nothing more than a burnt crisp. Still, bonus marks for style for ending the demo dead. :-)
- And just to get the complete set they crashed through the Nightmare 100% in 1:24. Plenty of ammo and plenty to kill. Not often the rocket launcher is completely ignored in a 100%.
They also improved their con1 Easy 100% by one second to 0:17, equalling the Nightmare 100% time.
And finally made a tablefiller Easy Run through abw in 1:26.

All the rest of our demos in this update come from last weekend's UdderFest when Jonny Andersson, Daniel Hansson, Daniel Andersson and SDA newcomer Johan Olsson got together for some multi player butt spanking.

Just to get his keyboard warmed up for the rigour's of the day ahead P-B improved Ivan's dmc1m2 Easy 100% twice. First by one second to 0:39 and then by a further two seconds to 0:37.
He then dragged Hansson on to the map to improve Luc and Pif's Easy 100% time by six seconds to 0:26.
They decided it was time to take a few Id coop records, starting with the Easy 100% of Zigurrat Vertigo in 0:38, one second faster than their previous time. Just watch that dumbass float!
Ash joined them for the Easy 100% of Tomb of Terror and they're either better than they were three years ago or just slightly less cretinous as they managed to improve their old record by three seconds to 0:39.
Time for Johan to get in on the action as they improved the Easy 100% of The Sewage System that Daniel, Daniel and Jonny did with Big Freddy Eckers a couple of years back. Johan helps add extra curl to the demoleading to a five second improvement to 0:24.
If you had to bet on one level that they were certain to do a demo on it would probably either be a czg07 level or escape. Johan took a rest and let the other three destroy the Nightmare 100% that Jonny did with KimSvea and Damien by thirty seconds to 0:52.
Back to Jonny and DanielH for the Easy 100% of hayduke1 which they stole from Luc and Pif by three seconds to 0:34.
By this time Ash had finished doing whatever it was that kept him out of the last demo (there are several very obvious things it could have been that I feel would lower the tone of the site if I mentioned them. Such as rubbing up a white snowstorm or taking a dump. Let's just try not think about it, okay?) so he rejoined the guys for the Easy 100% of rd1m2 as they improved the DH, JA, FE record by two seconds to 0:35.
Finally it was time for Jonny to rest his pretty balls and leave Daniel and Daniel to round off the day with a quick Easy Run of undrwrld in 0:53, six seconds faster than Daniel and Jonny.
Nice set of demos, guys. Glad to see the Udder flag is still flying.

That's it for today. Don't forget to keep an eye on the Other Games page as there's been a whole host of cool stuff posted there in the last week of so. Stubby even went so far as to mail Valve about the HalfLife speedrun and they replied that they really enjoyed it and had the whole office round watching it. So next time they announce a delay in releasing HlafLife2 you'll know it's because Thomas has been distracting them again. GET BACK TO WORK, YOU GUYS!!

All demos download for this update is available here

Well, since my updates have been labeled as only masturbatory in worth I might as well jump right into the demos and save any attempts to humor you all :-)

We haven't started an update off with demos from Justin Fleck in quite some time, so let's do just that.

First the Fleckmonkey shamelessly wiped Shambler's last remaining record from the tables, improving his easy run of zer1m5 by 5 seconds to get this Flecked out time of 1:12.
With his fancy now tickled towards the likes of zer1m5 Fleck then improved a Nolan Pflug record for this level. Fleck shafted Pflug's Nightmare run up the arse by a whole 59 seconds, coming out with this 2:07.

After Optic was finished gallivanting around zer1m5 on his own, he then proposed we coop the level. I of course accepted, and we came out with this sweet little easy run in 1:01.

We have another 'Fitzed out' ID demo for you from Connor Fitzgerald. The name of the game this time around was an easy 100% of e3m4, and the result was a beautifully played 1:10. Watch this demo if you know what is good for you.

Watching Connor's e3m4 easy 100% reminded me that the yank had recently improved my easy run of czg04. I'm not one to take such improvements to my demos, so I showed Connor what was up with this 0:41.

Daniel Magnusson has made a return to speed running after more than two years of being dormant! He chose to make his comeback on that old favorite map critters, he improved his nightmare 100% yet again to this very entertaining 0:52. 1 second faster.

And that brings us to some fresh new demos from the wonderously quick (yet also wonderously smelly) land of Kay Berntsten. Ripah produced a complete ownage of prison, improving every single-player-record for the level!

Basil's easy run was quickly flecked by 3 seconds to get this radiant time of 0:23.
Basil's nightmare run was then improved by 3 seconds to get 0:24.
Carl Tholin's easy 100% was improved by another 2 seconds to get this 0:47.
Basil succumbed to the wrath of Ripah for a third time as Kay made this 10 second improvement to the nightmare 100%, getting this 0:46.

Now back to my mapping I go...

All demos download for this update is available here

Hey there folks, me again. I bet you thought I'd deserted you for good and left you in the tender embrace of Evan's updating heaven. So as a change from the silky vaseline handjob feeling of a Wagster update I thought it was once again time to give you an update feeling like full doggy sex with the film star, popular music singer or profesional athlete of your choice. Personlly, I shall be writing this update thinking about Courtney Cox bent over in front of me, but you can chose whoever you like.

The first demos to send a shudder down your spine are a couple of optimised (probably) runs on corp2 by Thomas Bergendorff. He improved the Easy Run to 0:08, one second faster than before and the Nightmare Run by two seconds to 0:08. He rambles on about how 0:07 might be possible but... NAH!

I'm sure that there isn't a flaccid phallus in the house after those two, and in order to keep you all nicely firmed up it is my pleasure to present to you Mr Michael Hudson and has Easy Run Marathon through doe1. With at least half the Rogue levels having no real shortcuts other than "avoid the monsters" it takes a brave man to marathon these episodes. Or a stupid one, maybe? He cut twenty-seven seconds off his previous record and it honestly would have been more if he hadn't made such a hash of the start of r1m4. :-) 8:47

Some of you might be wondering what, if Evan's updates are a wank and my updates are a hump, sexual activity Stubby's updates can be likened to. After some consideration I think they're like getting really drunk and waking up naked the next morning in bed with your mother. Not nice, I know, but who can honestly say that it hasn't happened to them? No? Just me then...

Still on a roll Luc and Pif de Mestre .

They improved their evilpool Nightmare 100% by two seconds to 0:45. It should be possible to equal the Easy 100% time of 0:43 but those two shamblers in the final room are a real killer on Nightmare.
Next up was a run around rettear and a Hansson and de Vries clobbering sixteen second improvement to the Easy 100% with Pif running for the exit and Luc on mopping up duty. They finished in a very respectable 1:29.
They also improved both 100%s on the small and rather strange con1.
- There was no time for slacking as they improved R&R's Easy 100% by one second to 0:18.
- And even less time to think in the Nightmare 100% as they made the same improvement over the same people to grab a 0:17.

Before we visit our last demo of the update I'd like to wish Stubby a very happy birthday for yesterday. Some people might call it bad manners for someone with a face like that to stay alive for twenty-eight years but that aside, I hope you had a good night last night. CHEERS!

Talking of people who look like they should be dead, and smell like it if the truth be told, we come to Justin Fleck and Evan Wagner. One of the best named runs on the whole archive is the Nightmare 100% of carnage since it's a total nightmare and 100% carnage. That's a combination that makes for very entertaining demos and these two rarely let us down. They finished the bloodbath in 1:30 and I must say I was sweating and panting by the end of it just watching. Although that might have more to do with the fact that I'd stopped thinking about Courtney and was thinking about that "7 of 9" from Voyager instead.

Before I go I'd like to remind you once again to keep an eye on the Other Games page because things are getting really hot over there at the moment with Zelda:Ocarina of Time and a Super Mario run being added in the last couple of days.

And that's only the start...

All demos download for this update is available here

Nolan 'Pflugmaster' Pflug has another update for you all on the other games page. Go there for all speedy things non-Quake like, yet disturbingly Pflug-like.

It's always a special thing to have an ID demo for you in an update. Especially since we all know they don't come easy these days. Connor Fitzgerald intruded upon the long-time Selinus-dominated Easy 100% of The Wizard's Manse. Connor improved Martin 'bald head' Selinus's record by 3 seconds to get this shining time of 1:17! This demo is a must get!

Speaking of must-get demos, Kay Berntsten has reclaimed his record of nesp16 from me by 2 seconds. A quicker vore ball jump yielded this time of 0:32, damn close to optimum now I'd say. Kay then figured he would reclaim another record of his, this time shaving a hard-to-get second off Bergy's Easy run of DMC1M7 and coming out with an impressive time of 0:21.

Luc and Pif de Mestre are on quite the demo making binge.

The two blokes figured they would make some further improvements to the odd prison level.
- First they ran the Easy 100% in 0:40, 2 seconds faster than Basil and Chris.
- They then gave birth to this Nightmare 100% in a matching 0:40, 2 seconds faster then their previous record.
Luc and Pif slapped Daniel and basil accross the face with the French Glove, improving their Easy 100% of damaul3b by 12 seconds to get this nicely played 0:46.
Next L&P delivered their wrath upon the likes of hayduke1. Richard and Basil's Easy 100% was further improved by two seconds to this 0:37.

Justin Fleck and I have made a few more entertaining coops for the masses.

Continuing upon our cooperative-domination of Beyond Belief we made this Nightmare 100% of bbelief4 to the tune of a not too shabby 1:43.
Next we proceeded to do a run I hope we never have to repeat. It just so happened to be the Nightmare 100% of flecksp1, and after managing to stay alive thoughout a run we finally got a time of 2:26.
Fleck then decided he had enough lag and it was his turn to host. After connecting to him, the two of us banged out a solid Easy run of carnage in 0:32.

Optic figured he wasn't happy with his four year old Nightmare 100% of bbelief4. With a just a bit more Flecktimizing he was able to do away with 18 seconds and get this 2:40.

I promised screenshots of EVSPQ2 in the last update and here they are. I appologize in advance if they are too dark for you (fine for me, Viewsonic baby). This level features curves that rival Quake 3 Arena's, I kid you not!

On a final note, we have a few new player profiles for you to read. This time around we have profiles from Connor Fitzgerald, Kay Berntsten, and Luc & Pif de Mestre!

Catch you all in #QdQ!

All demos download for this update is available here

Funny that my last update here was about three years ago. Well, after starting to play Quake an unhealthy amount once again, I figured I might as well help with the updates at SDA also. This should take a little bit of the workload from off of Skiddy "The Updating Machine's" shoulders :-) Thanks goes out to Stubby for doing all the behind the scenes work also for this and countless other updates.

Let's get this party started with some brand new demos, shall we? And what better way to start then with an ID demo from Luc and Pif de Mestre. The dynamic French duo decided to improve Stubby and Skiddy's Nightmare 100% of E4M2. At first they netted this 1 second improvement of 1:13 but decided there was still room for improvement, leading to this 1:11. Surely Morfans and Stubby aren't going to take this sitting down, hmmm?!?

Oh, but Luc and Pif were not done there, no siree! The two also felt the urge to take a plunge into The Evilpool and improve Robert and Rickard Axelsson's Easy 100% by one second to this 0:45 and then to this nicer 0:43. Having improved the Easy 100%, it's then only natural that one goes for the Nightmare 100% next - and that's just what they did next by shaving 2 seconds off of Robert and Rickard's time, ending up with this well played 0:47. Finally from these two, we have a Nightmare 100% of prison done in a swift 0:42, 2 seconds faster than Basil and Chris.

Pif de Mestre improved his Nightmare run of Royal Warriors first by 2 seconds to this 0:49 and then another second taken off to get him a 0:48. The health situation during this run looked a little frightening :-)

Next we have some good new demos from the "electric n00b" himself, Kay Berntsen.

He decided to improve both Juozas Rimas's Easy and Nightmare runs of gibplex. Coming out in the end with a 1 second improvement over the easy time to this 0:25. Then creating a matching 0:25 Nightmare run, which was a 2 second improvement.
Next Kay took his anger out on Rogue's R1M5. First shaving one second off Robert's run to get the time of 0:58, then soon after a 0:57. Very entertaining demo :-)

DMC1M7 is getting closer and closer to optimised territory, as evident by these two great new demos.

Kimmo Polvivaara managed to squeeze another second out of Robert Axelsson's Easy 100%, getting himself this quick time of 0:28.
Robert Axelsson had a go at the Nightmare run, and managed to improve Bergy's run by 3 phatty seconds to a 0:25.99!!

Justin Fleck and I have done a couple new Nightmare 100% coop's of Beyond Belief. Fleck even let me host these two runs, which doesn't happen often!

bbelief1 was our first target as we madly shot our way to this time of 1:13.
bbelief2 naturally was our next choice and we coincidentally ended up with another time of 1:13.

Last and most certainly least is a demo from Justin Fleck. The Fleckmaster decided to pick on Morfans, improving his Nightmare 100% of perssp2 by a whopping 57 seconds to get a 3:59.

After having to learn an entirely different level editor, I am currently back at working hard on my second level, EVSPQ2. Look for some screenshots in my next update :-)

All demos download for this update is available HERE. Since Stubby is away at the moment it's being hosted by Evan, and as his tripod pages i) don't let you link directly to files and ii) don't like .dz files you'll have to follow the link above, do a right click and "save as" on the file, then rename it to a .dz file to open it. Sorry for the hassle but it's the best we could do at short notice. :-/

Well, since this week has been a very busy week for us, receiving demos-wise, we've reached the big 7000 demos already. In order to do this properly I'm going to have to list the demos in the order they arrived, so that, and the fact I've got to upload and do the history for all 26 demos by myself, means that I'm going to have to be brief with each one and the whole thing might lack the cohesive flow you've come to expect. It's not my fucking fault. OKAY???

So here's the rundown from 6976 to 7000...

We'll begin with Pif and Luc de Mestre. They improved Robert and Rickard's Nightmare 100% of dmc1m6 by two seconds to 1:22.
Pif and Luc again, this time with a one second improvement to their colony Easy Run makng it a very neat and hard to beat 0:16.
Pif and Luc quite naturally also improved their Nightmare Run of colony by one second as well to 0:16. Seems like Pif is really starting to hot up...
More Pif and Luc this time back on dmc1m6 to improve their Easy 100% by another three seconds to 1:15.
Pif on his own this time doing a tablefiller Easy 100% of 2run5 in 1:04. In theory it should be possible to do this almost as fast as Dane's Easy Run...
Pif and Luc again, this time with newcomer Andre de Mestre. A very simple piece of double shotgun boosting let them do the Easy Run of dmc1m6 in 0:02, one second faster than the 2-player time.
Pif, Luc and Andre doing the exact same thing but on Nightmare. 0:02. I think it's about time we had some de Mestre profiles sent in, guys.
Time for a change of players, I think. And if you're going to change players then you really want to hope it isn't to salty American dog sniffers Justin Fleck and Evan Wagner. Unfortunately for us it is. They did the Easy 100% of black2 in 0:55. Perfect timing on that last grenade...
Optic and windlash didn't stop there, they continued with a rather nice Easy 100% of dm3sp in 1:03.
Nothing was going to take the limelight off of Pif and Luc for long. They came storming back by improving Thomas and my Nightmare 100% of Zigurrat Vertigo (Normal Gravity) by one second to 1:02. Hey, their first ever id record! Congrats guys.
Now to Robert Axelsson and the first of many improvements to Pif's Easy 100% of dmc1m7. He started with a two second improvement to 0:33.
Robert. dmc1m7. One second faster. 0:32.
Pif and Luc did some route refining to the Nightmare 100% of Zigurrat Vertigo (Normal Gravity) and took off another six seconds to 0:56. MUCH better demo. Stubby, we have to LAN and take this back... :-)
Pif and Luc once more. Beating the dmc1m2 Easy 100% I did with Fat_Eddie by eight seconds to 0:32.
Robert. dmc1m7. One second faster. 0:31.
Time for Fern to get in on the Morfy bashing as he improved my terrible Nightmare 100% of rpgsp1 by twenty seconds to 6:15. Maybe I'd like this record back, waddayasaytatha?
Oh fuck a pig it's Optic beating another one of my records. This time in a strange chunk of synchronisity it's on Fern's map perssp2. He did the Easy 100% in 2:14, nineteen seconds faster.
The synchronicity goes on as Kay Betntsen improves the Easy Run of a map made by Optic, flecksp1. He beat Martin's time by two seconds to 1:10 by being very, very fast. :-)
Robert. dmc1m7. Two seconds faster and finally the demo we were all hoping to see. 0:29. The next demo we received was also a dmc1m7 0:29 by Kimmo Polvivaara. If Kimmo hadn't decided to delay sending his demo in until he'd pummelled the purple python in celebration his demo would have probably arrived first. The lesson here is simple: mail first: wank later!
Once more back to Pif and Luc who we now find improving the Easy 100% of abw to 1:47, eleven seconds faster than, once again, myself and Fat_Eddie. Now, I'm quite relaxed about people beating my records since they are mostly tablefillers and quite easily improvable. Eddie, on the other hand, is something of a jealous, violent maniac and would like to challenge Pif and Luc to a fight. Oh, he says you can bring Andre as well if you like, he doesn't mind. Some people, eh?
Pif and Luc again doing the first ever coop on pagan3. It's an Easy 100% tablefiller in 0:22.
Another piece of Easy Run quality from "Hell's Bunny", Ripah. He improved Bergie's r1m3 record by .3 of a second which was enough to make it a 0:16. I'm glad to see the Rogue levels getting some attention at the moment. Maybe a couple more people could give them a look over. Although some of them are too long for most people's taste there are sme real gems hidden away in this mission pack.
Optic and Evan are at it again as we draw inexorably closer to our target. They did this updates second demo on rpgsp1, a map that has been dormant for about two years before today, with an Easy 100% in 1:32. A good map for cooping.
Pif and Luc went back to pagan3 to do the Nightmare 100% in 0:21, one second faster than their Easy 100%.
So Pif and Luc stayed on pagan3 until they had equalled the time of 0:21 on Easy.

And that means that

Pif de Mestre
and
Luc de Mestre
are our
DEMO 7000 WINNERS

7000 demos. It just doesn't seem possible. It seems like only a short time ago I was saying "6000 demos. It just doesn't seem possible. It only seems like a short time ago I was saying "5000 demos. It just doesn't seem possible."" Well done to Pif and Luc for getting the magical number, shame we didn't have time to organise an actual physical prize but you have our love and respect. Respect, anyway. That respect extends to everyone that's sent in a demo recently. You guys keep this whole site, community and scene rocking like a speed-phreak receiving electro-convulsive therapy on a roller-coaster. I think we all deserve a beer.

The first step towards demo 8000 is, of course, demo 7001. This improvement to my Nightmare 100% of flecksp1 by Evan is the bigest owning in an update of ownings. The Owned, pwned and pweened me by seventy-two seconds to 3:34 with a much, much better route and a bit of better play.

See you all in #qdq.

All demos download for this update is available here

Whereas it's generally assumed in all right thinking areas of the world that Quake is by far the greatest game ever crwe here at SDA do acknowledge the fact that other games do sometimes briefly pop into existence. Recently reality has been increasingly unstable as over on the other game runs page in the last week we've had new runs on Metroid, Super Metroid, Metroid Fusion, Metroid Zero Mission, Metal Gear Solid:The Twin Snakes and Prince of Persia, The Sands of Time. It seems that everybody loves a little bit of speed every now and then...

Remember what I said last week about id records? Seems like people can't take a damned hint because this week another one has been improved! This weeks evil perpetrator is Thomas Stubgaard who has been initiating a massacre in The UnderEarth by improving the Nightmare 100% to 2:39, five seconds faster than his previous record. This is the kind of brutality you expect from a really classy Stubby demo: monsters flying in from all sides; explosions going off everywhere; and plenty of blood.

Only one demo this week on flecksp1, but it's a demo none of us expected to see. Evan Wagner has improved my thought-to-be-optimum Nightmare Run by... Wait a minute. I don't mean "optimum" do I. I mean "laughable". Anyway, he beat it by twenty-six seconds to 1:26. A beautiful silver key grab and some lovely moster slides down the stairs make this as close to sex as you want to get on anything associated with Fleck.

Pif and Luc de Mestre are making the most of the free time they've found themselves with by laying the smack down on as many other 2-brothers coop teams as the could.

Starting off with dmc1m6.
- First they tried a little coordinated arena killing and owned the Axelssons Easy 100% by one second to 1:18.
- Then they produced their first optimised record with a 0:03 Nightmare Run.
They had no mercy on the dmc1m3 Easy 100% by Fat_Eddie and myself making a big five second improvement to 0:19. Impressive work and a bonus point for getting the last kill in the intermission. :-)
Pif then struck out on his own to fill the dmc1m7 Easy 100% slot in 0:35. A nice route with a wicked long, curly quad grenade boost.

Despite recently having to do some work for the first time in his life Connor Fitzgerald has managed to send us a profile and also two excellent Nightmare 100%s. In getting them he managed to totally own one third of TeamSDA! Boy, some people know how to make themselves popular...

To be honest I don't really mind that he improved my dmc1m5 record by twenty-five seconds to 1:03 because his demo contains a quadruple vore-ball jumps, a load of rooftop bunnying and all sorts of other things that I just could never have done. So fair enough.
And his dmc1m7 Nightmare 100% in 0:45, nine seconds faster than Stubby, is just plain classy. From the the first bunnyhop to the double INK it just reeks the stench of great demo.

Those of you who are of an observant nature will have noticed that the last six demos were all on maps from the Death Match Classics : Episode One map pack. And even though there is a ton of running potential left in these maps I thought I might test the water as to how poeple feel about helping out on a little project I couldn't help but call Death Match Classics : Episode Two. What we're looking for is two things. Firstly, suggestions for great deathmatch maps that you think would, with a little work, make great speedrunning maps. Secondly, people that can map ("mappers", I believe they're called) that are willing to help out with the conversions. If you think you can help with either aspect just mail me (there's a link at the top of this update). For a semi-competent mapper a conversion should only take between 100 and 200 minutes of mapping work and let's be honest, there's absolutely nothing else of any worth or value you could possibly do, mapping wise, in that sort of time. ;-)

Justin Fleck has been licking at ih1m2 like a dog at a pair of peanut butter covered balls.

He teamed up with windlash to do the Easy 100% in 1:22. Just look at those suckers run!
He then cast Evan aside to do it on his own just five seconds slower at 1:27, nineteen seconds faster than his previous time.
With that kind of warm up it was surely only a matter of time before he also improved the Nightmare 100%. This proved to be the case when this 1:44, twenty-five seconds faster than before, arrived the next day. The way he goes through them the monster might just as well not be there.

According to an ancient jewish prophesy the end of the world shall be heralded by three events. "An cowe that is born with thee heade ov a chicken, a raine ov fishes and Michael Hudson doing a demo on an differant levelle". Well it looks as if armageddon might be on it's way because earlier this week we had a chicken born with the head that looked a little bit like a cow (these propheses sometimes get a bit confused), a tin of tuna fell on my head and mwh improved Mad-Peter's Nightmare run of r1m1 by one second to 1:20. Count the ways the monsters can get in your way during this run...

Basil de Vries has given us a Nightmare 100% tablefiller on tyrcoag in the time of 5:45. It's a long and very dangerous level, especially at the start (and in the middle. Oh, and at the end) and Basil plays it quite pedestrian here. Be sure to watch for the section just after the silver key door if you need any tips on how to totally fail to pick up armour. :-)

What kind of demos do you think are going to get produced when one of the all-time great runners, Martin Selinus, 2003 Speedrunning Champion Anders Nordensten and the newest initiate into the "Filthy Few", Mathias Thore, all get together one afternoon? I'll tell you something, my friends, they ain't going to be slow...

With Martin involved they of course did a Vaults of Zin Easy 100%. The improved Marlo, Fabian and Stefans old demo by two seconds to 0:29.
A double vertical shotgun boost by Mathias and Anders hd just enough power to propel Marv through "the gap" at the start of The Tomb of Terror which gave them an Easy Run time of 0:19.
Discharge jumps are always fun to see so they headed for the Wind Tunnels and gained a second over Alex, Will and Ingmar's Easy Run to 0:27.
Finally they moved away from Episode 3 and on to forrit for an Easy Run where only Martin actually did any hard work (2 of the 4 buttons and exit) but the other guys played their parts with style! 0:14, six seconds faster than the two player time.

This puts our tally of demos on 6975, so it can surely only be a matter of days before we announce the winner of our BIG, nay HUGE demo 7000 sender-inner-winner!

I'd like to end on a personal note by thanking Evan, Connor, Pif and Luc for destroying three of my few remaining records in this one update. Mind you, if I wasn't such a bad player in the first place they wouldn't be so easy to beat.

Let that be a lesson to you all.

All demos download for this update is available here

All righty, time to crack one off again. An update, I mean. In order to keep the size of this update down to a minimum and thus hopefully get it finished I will avoid all references to wobbly, dangly, moist, curvacious, long or hairy parts of the body or any activity there associated. At least, I'll try to...

It seems like at the moment we can't go one damned week without someone or other improving an id record. This week it's his highness Martin Selinus who amazes us with his already pretty legendary rocket skills. He improved Robert's Ziggurat Vertigo Nightmare Run by one second to 0:31. Ten rockets, ten boosts. 10/10.

It's been here a few weeks now but flecksp1 is still drawing them in and spitting them back out again.

Marvin improved the Easy Run in a demo that I think's better than his id improvement above. He took five seconds off of Evan's time to get 1:12. His silver key grabbing technique was slower than Evan's, though, so this can still be bettered. Just look at the way he holds his speed as he runs for the gold key. Makes me shudder to watch.
If ever there was someone that made the crowd chant "MARLO! MARLO!" then it's this next man, Marlo. Marlo Galinski, that is. Seeing that the Easy 100% was still up for grabs he stamped his mark on it. Twice. First at 2:16 and then at 2:14.

If there's one person I like, admire and who's opinion I respect more than anyone else I've ever met through my long association with speedrunning it's Arturo Garcia Lasca. Now, I know that not everyone shares my opinion on this matter but whatever your feelings you can't deny that he turns in a good Quake demo. Take for example this Easy 100% of hellctle in 1:27, two seconds faster than his previous record. You can't deny it's a goody.

You also have to admire the bravery of Robert Axelsson. Going through life surrounded by the stench, or miasma, that he mysteriously gives off all day long can't be easy. Still, the chicks seem to like it. Chicks also love a guy that can survive p_se_xxx.

As seems to be the fashion these days he made two improvements to his existing record, firstly by two seconds to 1:12 and then by another two seconds to 1:12. In his own words : Main gain? Kill faster!
But the real test of a man on this map is the Nightmare 100%. There's plenty of bouncing around in this demo but it's more frog-jumping than bunny-hopping. The end result, though, was a 1:22, 10 seconds faster than Stefan, so the technique seems to work.

Next a man to bring fear to the hearts of the ugly and stupid alike. It's our old pal Basil de Vries. He took time off from whatever sick pursuit he derives pleasure from these days to make two chain3 demos.

He made a thirteen second improvement to Amrik's Easy 100% with some nice, clean killing. 1:43.
Then filled the empty Nightmare 100% spot in 3:15. Slightly messy killing in places but a very well thought out route.

Consolidating their position on funrun we have top Gaulish tag-team Pif and Luc de Mestre.

Just by much slicker and cleverer play they saved three seconds on the Easy Run to 0:28. Luckily that both routes could be speeded up by using difficult, long distance trigger shots.
Exactly the same for the Nightmare Run. 0:28.

As a final little treat, if treat is the right word, we'd like to share with you a radio interview that Nolan Pflug did with Two Guys on some station or other a couple of weeks back. The subject was, naturally, speedrunning and the interview quite entertaining. Ever wondered what Radix really sounds like? Here's your chance to find out. :-)

Lap it up!

All demos download for this update is available here

No chat! Straight in with an id improvement!

Connor Fitzgerald has taken another crack at The Underearth Easy 100% and made a damned fine job of it. The first 1:15 of the demo is pretty much identical to last time but then he got very lucky with the monsters in the final room and exited (with one health remaining) in 1:24, four seconds faster than last week.

Before we get started with the bulk of the demos I'd just like to draw your attention to two runs on the Other Games section. The first is good old Nolan Pflug doing a tablefiller run on Metroid Zero Mission, which I only mention becaue the name "Nolan Pflug" always get's a good laugh, and the second one is something I've been meaning to mention for some weeks. For those of you out there that like Quake II speedruns, and I know there's those that do, Colin "Mr M" Moore[1] has released his Easy Run through the whole game (individual levels joined together in QdQ style, not a marathon) in 20:33.0. Very entertaining and well worth a watch.

Let's wade into the twisted world of Optic's brain, or at least what passes for a brain in Fleckdom. Yes, it's the latest crop of demos on flecksp1.

Evan Wagner has started the Easy Runs going with a nice 1:17. Now, I KNOW that at least one person out there has already owned this time...
He then teamed up with Justin Fleck to do the 2-player Easy Run in 1:05.
The Nightmare Run necessitates taking a lot more monster damage and thus requires a real man to perform. Which is why I did this 1:52. Worth watching if only for the Gold Key trick (if you don't already know it) and the final second.

Sticking with Optic for just one more demo we find that he's filled the very nasty gap for the Nightmare 100% of nesp16 in the fleck-tastic time of 5:20. This level is just crying out for some kind of explosive weapon, which is probably why infamous Canadian sadist Necros decided not to include one.

Robert Axelsson has found the time to make four impressive demos for us. As expected, at least half of them are boss maps...

He added an additional rocket boost to his Nightmare Run of doom2_04 to save another second and take the time down to 0:24.
He then spent several hours FATF and eventually managed to tweak every last speck of tweakage out of the route to save another second on the Easy run and get 0:23. PHEW
Dragon killing action now as he stepped into the murky world of r2m8.
- Performing a better multi-rocket boost near the end of the Easy Run gained him one second over his previous time to 0:27.
- But on Nightmare the dragon has so much health you need to use almost every scrap of ammo on the map. This means running around narrow ledges over a huge lava pit while facing upwards and shooting the whole time. The final time for destroying the big floating machine thing at the end was 0:49, one second faster than previously.

Thomas Bergendorff got fed up of waiting for someone else to improve his Nightmare Run of februus so he did it himself. A one second improvement to 0:22 takes this equal to the Easy Run time. Will anyone try for a 0:21 on either skill?

Time now to say a big "Bonjour!" to everyone's favourite French coop duo, Pif and Luc de Mestre. They've been quiet recently but have now unleashed a torrent of new runs upon us.

Their first comeback demo was a one second improvement to their colony Easy Run. As before, the server (Luc) does absolutely nothing while the other player (Pif) zooms through the latter section of the map in 0:17.
They then did an Easy 100% tablefiller on chain3 in 1:29. The hardest part of this demo seems to be trying to coordinate the last few seconds... :-)
Back to colony to improve the Nightmare Run by one second to 0:17.
While luc went to have a slash Pif improved his SP time for the Easy 100% of pushcoag by six seconds to 1:57. Better, more confident play all round. With Luc feeling refreshed and ready to run again they moved on to funrun in a big way. As well as good running they managed to make some big improvements by (as far as I know) being the first ever people to realise that there's a quad damage hidden near the start. :-)
- This enabled them to improve Josh and Warren's Easy Run by nine seconds to 0:31. Ahhh. Sweet quad boosts...
- Then do the same thing on Nightmare skill. 0:31.
- The Easy 100% took them 0:58.
- And the Nightmare 100% took them 0:59. There's no reason why this needs to be a second slower. What are you playing at?????
- Oh. I see now. They then tidied the Easy 100% up to 0:57, one second faster.
- And the Nightmare 100% also to 0:57, two seconds faster.
- At this stage Luc needed to go wee-wee again so Pif struck out on his own, using the quad to great effect to improve Justin's Easy 100% by sixteen seconds to 1:38.
- To keep things neat he did exactly the same for the Nightmare 100%. 1:38, Fleckteen fleckonds fleckster than Fleck.

To finish we have some strangely erotic demos from Daniel Hansson and some of his other Uddevalla based associates. Bravo!

He totally destroyed his recent Nightmare 100% of czg07a. More aggression and better quad use gave him a twenty-six second saving to 5:03.
Mind you, he'd obviously had plenty of practise while he was working on his Nightmare 100% Marathon through the whole czg07 episode. Three hugely long levels, hoards of monsters and only one tiny Hansson to fight them off. But fight them off he did in a time of 18:32, one hundred and ninety-five seconds (!!) faster than Nolan.
At round about this time Carl Tholin came home from choir practise and asked Daniel if he wanted to coop. These are the results...
- They had some fun on ikspq5 doing a certainly not optimised but still quite nice Easy 100% in 1:07, six seconds faster than Justin and Evan.
- Then the rd1m2 Nightmare 100% was thoroughly spanked in 1:23, twelve seconds faster than Stefan and Matthias. You've just got to admire Carl's haphazard grenade work in the last few seconds of his demo (and Daniel's clever shambler taunting).
Everyone loves a threesome. And luckily Johan Nilsson was avaiable to make a demo which is the nearest thing we'll every see to Quake pr0n. They did the empty Easy 100% of commctr in 0:49. Enough to bring tears to your eyes.

And that brings the total number of regualr demos to 6944, which can only mean that the race is on to see who can claim the honour of getting DEMO 7000.

And if that doesn't bring you out in a cold sweat, nothing will!

[1] Not to me confused with bygone runner Mr J or Mr Shambler as Shambler used to be known before he was emasculated.

All demos download for this update is available here.

What a week it's been. The madness that is The Nolans is over. That means we get to have a little rest, right? WRONG! We've had a whole stack of demos, new maps, snippets of interesting gossip and bunny comparisons sent to us this week. Truly 2004 is shaping up to be the Year of the Bunny!

One of our Australian brethren, who didn't do too badly at the awards last week managing to walk away with a clutch of virtual homoerotic statuettes including both Rookie of the Year and Most Improved Player, is really on a roll at the moment. Having recently dipped his toe into the pool of madness that is know as "taking an id record" he has decided to dive right in and has made two more improvements. Ladies and gentlemen, Connor Fitzgerald...

He kept trying his new double ogre grenade jump at the start of The Tomb of Terror until he managed to shave off another second to 0:23. This must be very close to optimised now. It'd take a Horvath to get 0:22, I think. (Although he'd probably do a 0:21 just to remind everyone who's best :-))
For his next trick he thought he'd tackle an Easy 100%. His chosen target was Stubby's record on The Underearth. He basically followed the same route except for a clever, and slightly cheeky, little grenade jump that saves him two seconds. Which is why this 1:28 is two seconds faster.
Connor has also done another demo this week, an improvement to The Elder God Shrine for Quake Done 100% Quick Lite 2. To show you just how awesome this project is turning out to be consider this: there are now no Markus Taipale demos in it any more! The bunny god has been bounced out.

We've had a few old faces popping up recently to show all the new blood that the past masters have still got the pow-wah. One name we weren't expecting but were all, like, OMG, like we were, like, no way, dude, when this demo showed up. It was a twenty-three second improvement to Pif's could Easy 100% by Mr Smooth himself Stefan Schwoon. Personally I would never say, or by omission of action allow to be said, a word against Stefan because he wrote demix and demtool and thus was directly responsible for me spending countless hours in beautiful crippling frustration shouting at the monitor because entities weren't doing what they were supposed to. He did miss an easy telefrag near the end of this 3:39, though.

And if a demo from "Old Cheesy" himself isn't enough to get a few of the other bygone runners sending in a nostalgic demo I don't know what is!

Those of you who are paying attention will realise that today's update title is not only a homage to gods/sex/lisp jokes but also a tip of the hat to Mathias Thore. What's he done to deserve this singular honour? Well, first he did some demos...

He sent in multiple small improvements (a technique known as the Plachetta Protocol (formerly the Hansson manoeuvre (formerly... someone else who's name escapes me))) to the shafted Easy Run. This run is always slower than it's Nightmare counterpart because the shamblers are soooooo slow to react on Easy skill. He started with a 0:28 before moving on to a 0:27, a 0:25 and finally a 0:24.

But that's not all he did. He also made a whole load of very fast Bunny Comparison demos including an e2m1 which saw him join the Filthy Few who have made the fabled seven second run! Head over to the page to catch the rest of his demos and also some new demos from Ivan Vladev, Kay Berntsen and Martin Selinus (not actually new demos but old ones he forgot to send in, the f00l).

What next? How about a couplr of demos from the other Aussie speed sensation, the Sydney Tsunami Dane Plachetta. He has moved on slightly through the Hip levels and is now bringing his brand of obcessive optimisation to the Easy 100% of hip1m5. He destroyed Nolan's time by, errr, one second to 2:34 and then to 2:32. Love that jump to the 100H!

BTW. I have no idea if Dane actually lives in, near or 1000 miles away from Sydney.

Both the empty 100% slots on Vondur's new map ac have been filled.

Ripah did his first ever 100% record with this 7:06 Easy 100%. You can see why he sticks to the runs now... :-P
The only way to get the Nightmare 100% below 10 minutes is to set a mad viking loose in the caves. So we wound Thomas Stubgaard up, pointed him in the right direction, let him go and he made this 8:57.

Kay also produced several other ripping demos this week...

He ran through bast on Easy skill in 0:20, one second faster than Anders. Big bunnys and a little lightning saved the second.
He did the same on Nightmare except he improved Joe's record by two seconds to 0:20. Big bunnys and a lot of lightning.
He also attacked the Easy Run on the never popular blister2, beating Juozas by one second to take the time down to 0:52.
Then he thought he'd try another Easy 100%. The februus record was empty so he ran about in a seemingly random fashion killing everything he could find and exited in 5:24. (Ignore me, it's actually a nice demo :-))

But I was fresh from doing the februus NH when his last demo arrived and it took me precisely two attempts to bang out a 5:04.

Three coops on forrit arrived from Ilian Duckoff and Ivan Vladev.

They ran a fairly straight forward 0:21 which they quickly tidied up to 0:20. I can't help but think grabbing the rocket launcher and adding a few boosts would save another second or two...
They also tackled the much busier Nightmare Run and JMad stayed alive just long enough for JMad to exit in 0:22. Next time you could maybe sort Ilian out with his own name? Hmmm? ;-)

So what's left? Just two demos on flecksp1.

I started things off with a tablefiller Nightmare 100% in 4:46.
And Justin Fleck and Evan Wagner started the coop demos off with a 1:40 2-player Easy 100%.

"Hang on!" I hear you shout. "WTF map is that? From the name I'd guess that that idiot Fleck has tried his hand at mapping and you've added it to the tables!" And if that was what you were shouting you'd be dead right. That lovely young man Optic has produced his first map and we've added it to the tables. It's called flecksp1 - Azure Influx, you can download it by following the link on the records page and please call your demos flk1_xxx.

Yeah!

All demos download for this update is available here

The voting is over for the Nolans 2003. The votes are counted and so all that's left is for us to announce them in #qdq and #nolans on Quakenet on tonight (Tuesday) at 10PM CET. #qdq will be for general discussion and #nolans will be a moderated channel where we will do the announcing. And p[lease rememebr. If you were nominated please prepare a few words of acceptance just in case you win. It doesn't have to be flamboyant or long but it helps keep things moving if you don't have to think for ten minutes and then type it all in. :-) Hope to see everyone there!

Connor Fitzgerald is just, like, totally on fire at the moment. He has captured his third id record in as many weeks (ish) by using a different, much faster, double ogre grenade jump to improve Timo's Easy Run of The Tomb of Terror by one second to 0:24. MUST DOWNLOAD

The only thing better than an id record improvement is a recapture of an id record by someone we all thought had disappeared for good from the speedrunning scene. However, it seems that the spur to come back that Marlo Galinski needed was for Optic to take his Easy 100% All of Quake marathon. He looks a little rusty in a couple of places (just watch e2m5 to see what I mean) but this is a great reminder of why he's remembered as one of the greatest 100% specialists of all time. 46:02, sixty-eight seconds faster.

To prove this wasn't just a one-off Marlo also filled the empty spot in the tables for the nesp16 Easy 100% in 3:27. A vicious level to 100% on, for sure. Who'll try the NH?

As a special treat to you all the all demos download contains a little map that Marlo made some years ago. Since it was a cramped button presser with no shortcuts that we could find we didn't think we'd add it at this stage. We thought we'd let you all have a play on it, just for the experience. :-)

Just two demos on februus this time.

Daniel Hansson decided to get in on the action and improved Thomas's Easy run by one more second to 0:22. 0:21 looks possible but damned hard.
And I got the 100%s started with this cheeky little 6:53 Nightmare 100%.

Finally, some more Hansson magic.

He made two improvements to Nolan's czg07a Nightmare 100%. first to 5:39, twenty-three seconds faster, then ten seconds faster still to 5:29. So many grunts!!
He also improved his own Nightmare 100% of czg07b by thirty seconds 4:52.

That's all for now. See you later!